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PICKIN ON THE HILLBILLY

By, Rosum (Roy)

Pickin on the Hillbilly

One of my (I'm sure I wasn't alone) favorite pastimes in Sleezeville was

making fun with Gene Luna. We didn't make fun of him, we made fun with him. Once

you got to know him, you just couldn't help yourself... Once you got to know

his weak spots, you had it made. One of his biggest weak spots was snakes.

One beautiful, sunny, late 90's October day in the Naneum Valley, after the

morning hunt, we were all milling around camp bs'ing and doing idle chores. We

had placed our loaded rifles within easy reach, as normal, just in case an

animal made the mistake of wandering within sight of camp. We were standing

around Hillbilly's truck when out of the corner of my eye, I spotted a small garter

snake. I'm not sure if God, or the Devil put it there, but the Devil, in me,

immediately ran over and picked it up. Hillbilly took one look at that and his

eyes got big as saucers. This just egged me on and I began to chase him around

the truck with it. The screaming and yelling could be heard throughout the

valley. Each time we passed the rear of the truck, he would get closer and closer

to his rifle. Being a little more fleet-footed than him, I would cut him off

and we'd go around again... I knew I had to keep that snake between him and

his rifle because he kept screaming "PUT THAT SNAKE DOWN, OR I'M GOING TO SHOOT

YOU!!!!" Sad thing is, I knew that was true!

I figured out a solution... Next time around the truck, I grabbed the rifle

in one hand, with the snake in the other.

I'm going to miss that old man...

Respectfully submitted,

Roy Akin (Rosum)

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